The Struggle with Drugs and Alcohol

My Gratitude List for Today:
• Sobriety - A gift only HP can give

• HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now
• the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing, very spiritual on an increasing basis these days.
• Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
• my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
• my health - excellent
• Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny
• Chris M. - my new sponsor and a real inspiring guy.
• Zach - challenges me and supports me.
• Jim - my best friend and a real rock
• Larry - a good guy and Jim's significant other
• Duane - a wonderful man and a wonderful friend
• Virginia Howard - One awesome woman

• Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man.
• Aaron - Gifted, my right hand man when he is around and sometimes by phone.

• Harry Waters - Fantastic Director and Drama Coach on the M4D Project

• Ryan Rollinson - the new M4D stage manager

• Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard
• Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Victor - he cares and that is wonderful
• Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
• my mom and dad - gone but here
• Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew who is moving his family back here from the east coast.
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
• Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts, with HP he is making it
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough, prayin for him
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Lois Koyama - a woman of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman

• Bill - the Judge with the mostest
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor
• Scott - my second gay sponsor
• Tom S - long time friend and my plumber and the Scholla Racing guy
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend and busy guy
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend
• Tyler - friend

The power of drugs and alcohol in the dependent's life continues to astonish me. I just got off the phone with a good man who is in the midst of the struggle with meth. He has done some serious damage to himself and is still wanting to use. He decided not to use for today but wow, in spite of physical danger to himself was considering it.

I am so blessed. God has given me a reprieve for today.

Letting God

I am very grateful today. The giver of good gifts is at work yet again with a blessing of a day. A friend who is caught in meth and cocaine stayed the night and I was able to give him some peace and quiet. His narration of his life these days is totally horrible.

I am hard at work with a new web client today. I am also developing support and interest in a play, "Methampetamine for Dummies, a cautionary tale". This is an exciting and challenging tale and production.

I am so blessed.

-- Post From My iPhone

Giving for a cause and letting go today with prayer

I have such a great life. HP leading step by step I get into all kinds of wonderful things and situations. My will still gets in the way. Right now, the M4D project has been changed because one of the key persons in it is just not choosing to do it. It hurts like hell since he could do such a fantastic job. But he has other priorities in his life and doing drama is just not on the top of the list. I have to actively avoid trying to manipulate and con him into doing it. I basically have to sit on my hands and give up having him be a part of the project. I have to now reorganize the darn thing. I have national news people I was going to talk to to get some national exposure to the project but now, regroup and retrench. Back to the drawing boards. Let it go, Bob. You didn't create it, you didn't cause it, it is not your problem.

I am constantly seeing more for my friends than they see. It works well when they also begin to see their potential, but it crashes and burns when they are negative. God answers our prayers in four ways: No ... Yes ... Wait ... I have a better idea. And I know that prayer is the only real way of caring for people who get caught in negative and egotistical self hatred. I am praying a lot these days.

Tonight I am playing for an Aids Benefit at the Music Box Theater. Martha Mathewson is playing keyboards. It will be a blast. I can hardly wait.

My Gratitude List for Today:
• Sobriety - A gift only HP can give

• HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now
• the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing, very spiritual on an increasing basis these days.
• Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
• my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
• my health - excellent
• Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny
• Chris M. - my new sponsor and a real inspiring guy.
• Zach - challenges me and supports me.
• Jim - my best friend and a real rock
• Larry - a good guy and Jim's significant other
• Duane - a wonderful man and a wonderful friend
• Virginia Howard - One awesome woman

• Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man.

• Harry Waters - Fantastic Director and Drama Coach on the M4D Project

• Ryan Rollinson - the new M4D stage manager

• Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard
• Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Victor - he cares and that is wonderful
• Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
• my mom and dad - gone but here
• Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew who is moving his family back here from the east coast.
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
• Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts, with HP he is making it
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough, prayin for him
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Lois Koyama - a woman of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman

• Bill - the Judge with the mostest
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor
• Scott - my second gay sponsor
• Tom S - long time friend and my plumber and the Scholla Racing guy
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend and busy guy
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend
• Tyler - friend

Make Mine a big Care and Concern

This is Virginia Howard. She is in her eighties and is a good friend of mine. I helped her move from her condo to Augustana Apartments this year. I go over there every now and then with a Big Mac Meal Supersized. It is her favorite meal. She and her wonderful husband, Oscar, used to be my neighbors in the condo and as he became ill and then passed away I gave them more and more support. Virginia is my translator at Kwanzaa. It is amazing how a liberal white boy does not understand all the words and ideas at an afro-american church. She has a great spirit. I get so much from my friendship with her. She boosts my spirits, scolds me for doing too much, teases me, helps me with my faith, and clues me in when I don't understand it all at church. I am so blessed.

My Gratitude List for Today:
• Sobriety - A gift only HP can give

• HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now
• the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing, very spiritual on an increasing basis these days.
• Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
• my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
• my health - excellent
• Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny
• Chris M. - my new sponsor and a real inspiring guy.
• Zach - challenges me and supports me.
• Jim - my best friend and a real rock
• Larry - a good guy and Jim's significant other
• Duane - a wonderful man and a wonderful friend
• Virginia Howard - One awesome woman

• Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man.

• Harry Waters - Fantastic Director and Drama Coach on the M4D Project

• Ryan Rollinson - the new M4D stage manager

• Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard
• Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Victor - he cares and that is wonderful
• Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
• my mom and dad - gone but here
• Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew who is moving his family back here from the east coast.
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
• Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts, with HP he is making it
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough, prayin for him
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Lois Koyama - a woman of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman

• Bill - the Judge with the mostest
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor
• Scott - my second gay sponsor
• Tom S - long time friend and my plumber and the Scholla Racing guy
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend and busy guy
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend
• Tyler - friend

Sunday of Sundays

My Gratitude List for Today:
• Sobriety - A gift only HP can give

• HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now
• the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing
• Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
• my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
• my health - excellent
• Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny
• Zach - challenges me and supports me.
• Jim - my best friend and a real rock
• Larry - a good guy
• Duane - a wonderful man and a wonderful friend

• Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man.

• Harry Waters - Fantastic Director and Drama Coach on the M4D Project

• Ryan Rollinson - the new M4D stage manager

• Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard
• Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Victor - he cares and that is wonderful
• Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
• my mom and dad - gone but here
• Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew who is moving his family back here from the east coast.
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
• Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts, with HP he is making it
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough, prayin for him
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Lois Koyama - a woman of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman

• Bill - the Judge with the mostest
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• Virginia - very good friend
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor
• Scott - my second gay sponsor
• Tom S - long time friend and my plumber and the Scholla Racing guy
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend and busy guy
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend
• Tyler - friend

M4D, "Methamphetamine for Dummies", continues to have a life of its own. More and More interest and we are doing the show. Harry and Damien are hard at work. Others are joining the team. Ryan Rollinson is going to be the stage manager. We are selecting some music and environmental things was the readings and runthroughs increase in intensity.

I have a couple of sponsees who are taking the heavy road of using again. I am praying for them. A few other sponsees are really doing the deal and working the program. That is always exciting.

I had a pity party bump in the road yesterday but it was over before it really got going. The days and nights are beautiful this time of year. Still a bit too busy but it is controllable. I am so blessed.