Getting Ready for the World Premier

Tomorrow at 7 PM I will be playing violin with the Normandale Community College Choir at Normandale doing the World Premier of Kent Fenske's "What Wondrous Love" base upon the folk hymn of the same name. I am scared and challenged and all my support encourages me that I will do just fine. So I will.

On Facebook a guy is passively criticizing me. He is wrong but doesn't know it. I think the best course of action is to just let him think he is right.

HP has kept the homefront very quiet recently. The biggest thing I did last night was to create a slideshow about the Cowboy UP fundraiser. It was a fantastic party.

I could not stay sober if I didn't have a lot of real fun, clean, silly, crazy, wild fun. I have no idea how folks do it without having fun.

I feel God has a wild ride for me today. Lot's scheduled, lot's important, lot's loving. Well, let's get going now.

One of the choice elements of my month is playing violin for the monthly Loring Park Singalong. This was taken in the park as I got out of the car to do the singalong last Tuesday. It is a privilege.

Also this week I practiced with the Normandale Community College Choir doing Composer Kent Fenske's arrangement of "What Wondrous Love is This". The song was dedicated to Dr. Marc Jaros, Director of the Choir and me. How beautiful.

I have so much to be grateful for:

My Gratitude List:

• Sobriety - A gift only HP can give when I let him
• HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now, today is a miracle.
• the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing, very spiritual on an increasing basis these days.
• Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
• my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
• the beautiful North Shore of Lake Superior
• my health - excellent
• travel is great, particularly in the Phaeton.
• Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny
• Chris M. - my sponsor and a real inspiring guy.
• Victor - he cares and that is wonderful. He is also a great cook. He calls every day.
• Millie - a most awesome person, energized.
• Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man. I would love to have him as my son.

• Ross U - what can I say, beautiful, inside and out. Growing and loving
• Ronnie - friend, daughter and a kickass woman, I pray for her health.
• Mikey - gifted and insightful, and sometimes a little Puck.

• Ronnie T - an awesome man and a gift to know
• Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
• Jim - my best friend and a real rock
• Larry - a good guy and Jim's significant other and fun and funny.
• Duane - a superb man and a wonderful friend. An Iphone addict too!
• Beryl Wells - my favorite insane artist and phenomenal woman of the world
• Virginia Howard - One awesome woman
• Aaron - Gifted, my right hand man when he is around and sometimes by phone.
• Harry Waters - Fantastic Director and Drama Coach on the M4D Project
• Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard, now back in the fold.
• Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Bobby M - gentle, caring, sweet man
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
• my mom and dad - gone but here
• Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew who is moving his family back here from the east coast.
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Evie - Eric and Lucinda's newest little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
• Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough, prayin for him
• Ronnie T - smart, funny, a leader
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Lois Koyama - a woman of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage and StevenBe - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man, my own secret hero
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman
• Bill - the Judge with the mostest
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor who is gone now but still lives in my head.
• Scott - my second gay sponsor, now also gone but in my thoughts
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend and busy guy
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Jason L - newly through treatment and a joy
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend
• Tyler - friend
• Zach - friend
• David and Ricky Peterson - the awesome folks of Jessica

Late Night Musings

Just got off the phone with a man who is drunk. It just never stops. He is smart and he has a lot of time on his hands and he picks up the bottle.

God, please help my friend find your wonderful peace and guidance to navigate this world without using. He is so gifted and so industrious but he still has not gotten your highly spiritual program. I love him and because he was drunk, I asked him to call me when he was sober. This is very hard to deal with. I just wanted to come home and go to bed.

My Gratitude List:

• Sobriety - A gift only HP can give when I let him
• HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now, today is a miracle.
• the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing, very spiritual on an increasing basis these days.
• Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
• my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
• the beautiful North Shore of Lake Superior
• my health - excellent
• travel is great, particularly in the Phaeton.
• Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny
• Chris M. - my sponsor and a real inspiring guy.
• Victor - he cares and that is wonderful. He is also a great cook.
• Millie - a most awesome person, energized.
• Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man. I would love to have him as my son.

• Ross U - what can I say, beautiful, inside and out. Growing and loving
• Ronnie - friend, daughter and a kickass woman, I pray for her health.
• Mikey - gifted and insightful, and sometimes a little Puck.

• Ronnie T - an awesome man and a gift to know
• Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
• Jim - my best friend and a real rock
• Larry - a good guy and Jim's significant other and fun and funny.
• Duane - a superb man and a wonderful friend. An Iphone addict too!
• Beryl Wells - my favorite insane artist and phenomenal woman of the world
• Virginia Howard - One awesome woman
• Aaron - Gifted, my right hand man when he is around and sometimes by phone.
• Harry Waters - Fantastic Director and Drama Coach on the M4D Project
• Ryan Rollinson - a gifted man with a spirit I admire.
• Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard
• Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Bobby M - gentle, caring, sweet man
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
• my mom and dad - gone but here
• Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew who is moving his family back here from the east coast.
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Evie - Eric and Lucinda's newest little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
• Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough, prayin for him
• Ronnie T - smart, funny, a leader
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Lois Koyama - a woman of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage and StevenBe - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man, my own secret hero
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman
• Bill - the Judge with the mostest
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor who is gone now but still lives in my head.
• Scott - my second gay sponsor, now also gone but in my thoughts
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend and busy guy
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Jason L - newly through treatment and a joy
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend
• Tyler - friend
• Zach - friend
• David and Ricky Peterson - the awesome folks of Jessica

Door closing, unknown doors opening

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France

Just got the news that a relationship of friendship I have had is closing. I am sad about this but it is a blessing. I could protest, but it is not mine to control. I could complain since it is not what I like, but again, no control. HP has stronger ideas of what I need than I do. I have also found if I do try and manipulate things when this happens, I only play the fool and resentment builds. It is a blessing though that's hard to accept.

Then why am I crying. Damn, I have done more crying in the last two days than in the last two months.

Guess I have to mourn this. God is in charge.

My Gratitude List:

• Sobriety - A gift only HP can give when I let him
• HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now, today is a miracle.
• the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing, very spiritual on an increasing basis these days.
• Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
• my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
• the beautiful North Shore of Lake Superior
• my health - excellent
• travel is great, particularly in the Phaeton.
• Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny
• Chris M. - my sponsor and a real inspiring guy.
• Victor - he cares and that is wonderful. He is also a great cook.
• Millie - a most awesome person, energized.
• Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man. I would love to have him as my son.

• Ross U - what can I say, beautiful, inside and out. Growing and loving
• Ronnie - friend, daughter and a kickass woman, I pray for her health.
• Mikey - gifted and insightful, and sometimes a little Puck.

• Ronnie T - an awesome man and a gift to know
• Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
• Jim - my best friend and a real rock
• Larry - a good guy and Jim's significant other and fun and funny.
• Duane - a superb man and a wonderful friend. An Iphone addict too!
• Beryl Wells - my favorite insane artist and phenomenal woman of the world
• Virginia Howard - One awesome woman
• Aaron - Gifted, my right hand man when he is around and sometimes by phone.
• Harry Waters - Fantastic Director and Drama Coach on the M4D Project
• Ryan Rollinson - a gifted man with a spirit I admire.
• Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard
• Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Bobby M - gentle, caring, sweet man
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
• my mom and dad - gone but here
• Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew who is moving his family back here from the east coast.
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Evie - Eric and Lucinda's newest little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
• Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough, prayin for him
• Ronnie T - smart, funny, a leader
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Lois Koyama - a woman of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage and StevenBe - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man, my own secret hero
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman
• Bill - the Judge with the mostest
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor who is gone now but still lives in my head.
• Scott - my second gay sponsor, now also gone but in my thoughts
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend and busy guy
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Jason L - newly through treatment and a joy
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend
• Tyler - friend
• Zach - friend
• David and Ricky Peterson - the awesome folks of Jessica