About a day to calm down....

Well, I have not been having a pretty time. Once again it is obvious to me that being codependent is a lose lose proposition. It does me no good and it does not do the junkie/drunk any good. I let go of my friend. I have too many other people, working the program, giving me support, caring for me and challenging me, to let my friend rent out my energy and brain power. He is in my prayers. I have a big weekend with lots of things to do and I am excited about it.

I am off to sing with the Mounds View Alumni Choir this morning. A great meeting this evening at St Paul's Evangelical Church will cap a busy day.

I am grateful for:
• Sobriety - I would be so dead or incarcerated without it.
• HP - God gives moment by moment blessings
• the program - gave me my life back
• Christa the Phaeton - a great car and a great toy
• my home - beautiful, peaceful
• my health - excellent
• Don - a great man and a man I can relate with
• Jim - my best friend
• Larry - a good guy
• Duane - another best friend
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family
• my mom and dad - great people who gave me the best of what I have
• Bill - my wonderful brother
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Snow - It is so clean
• Winter - I love it
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Damien - Superb actor and a good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician
• Cassidy - who brought so much into my life and my home - very much in need of a good program.
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Victor - he cares
• Dustin - a good friend, a bit crazy and a inventive and thoughtful man
• Ko and Lo - A couple of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• Virginia - very good friend
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor
• Scott - my second gay sponsor
• Tom S - long time friend and my plumber
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend

Gratitude in the Midst of Devastation

My list for this troubled day:
• Sobriety - I would be so dead or incarcerated without it.
• HP - God gives moment by moment blessings
• the program - gave me my life back
• Cassidy - has brought so much into my life and my home - very much in need of a good program.
• Christa the Phaeton - a great car and a great toy
• my home - beautiful, peaceful
• my health - excellent
• Don - a great man and a man I can relate with
• Jim - my best friend
• Larry - a good guy
• Duane - another best friend
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family
• my mom and dad - great people who gave me the best of what I have
• Bill - my wonderful brother
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Snow - It is so clean
• Winter - I love it
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Damien - Superb actor and a good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Victor - he cares
• Dustin - a good friend, a bit crazy and a inventive and thoughtful man
• Ko and Lo - A couple of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• Virginia - very good friend
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor
• Scott - my second gay sponsor
• Tom S - long time friend and my plumber
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend

I was devastated last night and now, a good friend is out using and it will result in very serious consequences for him. I hope he does not overdose. He has lost so much and now he will lose much more. There but for God's grace go I. A friend asked, "Why do they use when they lose so much?" It is simple, denial in the human being is very powerful. In spite of negative consequences, the addict will continue to use. I did until I was 33. It never got better when I was using and definitely got worse. HP constantly gave me messages which I choose to ignore. It was one day when I got very scared about what alcohol and drugs did to me that I got sober. One day at a time, I have stayed sober since. I am so blessed.

I need the Gratitude List right now

Here it is:

• Sobriety - I would be so dead or incarcerated without it.
• HP - God gives moment by moment blessings
• the program - gave me my life back
• Cassidy - has brought so much into my life and my home.
• Christa the Phaeton - a great car and a great toy
• my home - beautiful, peaceful
• my health - excellent
• Don - a great man and a man I can relate with
• Jim - my best friend
• Larry - a good guy
• Duane - another best friend
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family
• my mom and dad - great people who gave me the best of what I have
• Bill - my wonderful brother
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Snow - It is so clean
• Winter - I love it
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Damien - Superb actor and a good man
• Kent - Excellent Musician
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Victor - he cares
• Dustin - a good friend, a bit crazy and a inventive and thoughtful man
• Ko and Lo - A couple of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• Virginia - very good friend
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor
• Scott - my second gay sponsor
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

Once again, when I look at the things I have to be grateful for, I begin to heal.

I am so sad right now

It is another day of hating the disease. Just got word that a good friend, who chose to use again, is headed for incarceration. It is so sad but perhaps he will come to understand that all that happens when he mixes up with drugs or alcohol is more consequences.

I will miss him.

Thursday Musings

I am grateful today for:
• Sobriety
• HP
• the program
• Cassidy
• Christa the Phaeton
• my home
• my health
• english muffins
• Don
• Jim
• Larry
• Duane
• Rob
• Pastor Alika
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian
• my mom and dad
• Bill
• Noel
• Eric
• Lucinda
• Nate
• Jessica
• Nick
• Lydia
• Minnesota
• Snow
• Winter
• Tara
• Arlene
• Gerry
• Tony M
• Christian
• Damien
• Kent
• Timmy
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

Starting out the morning with those blessings, I can run on this for the day. Today I will be going to court with a friend who is just creating more and more difficulty for himself. I am straightforward with him, however he seems to have no desire to stop his destructive decisions. I am praying for him.
I really have seen demonstrations of the power of prayer, so as I pray for them, aim your prayers at Cassidy, Tim, Geo, Bill, the Beasley Family, Kwanzaa, Westminster, President Obama, world peace, end of hunger, end of war, and me. Thanks.

Day before the New Era in America

I am doing just fine. I continue to be resting on this Gratitude Bubble.

The Gratitude List for Today:
• Sobriety
• HP
• the program
• Cassidy
• Christa the Phaeton
• my home
• my health
• english muffins
• Don,
• Jim
• Larry
• Duane
• Rob
• Pastor Alika
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian
• my mom and dad
• Bill
• Noel
• Eric
• Lucinda
• Nate
• Jessica
• Nick
• Lydia
• Minnesota
• Snow
• Winter
• Tara
• Arlene
• Gerry
• Tony M
• Christian
• Damien
• Kent
• Timmy
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

I am excited about the Obama Inauguration and have seen a number of the events so far. I have gained a lot of new knowledge about Martin Luther King. I have been so uneducated. He was a real Christian Man of God. You can meet a lot of people who claim the name Christian, but you will only meet a few Men and Women of God. I so underestimated the man.


I am down right now because I have just spent some time with a sponsee that is on the run. He is using and lying and just totally messed up and denying it. I can remember being in his position and it was very very lonely. I am praying for him. I can make my own situation better by just getting back to program things. This to shall pass.

Getting Ready for Church

This is a photo of the Reverend Gregory Bentley who spoke last morning at Westminster giving me a totally new view of Martin Luther King.

Gratitude List:
• Sobriety
• the Program
• Jim
• Cassidy
• Kwanzaa
• Pastors Alika and Ralph Galloway
• Larry Krause
• Steven
• Aaron
• Damien
• Timmy
• Laura and Fred White
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Duane
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• the condo
• John Boyer
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• The Volkswagen Phaeton - Christa
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Tony Maas
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Bill
• Noel
• Eric and Lucinda
• Nathan and Jessica
• Nick
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

The Program and my faith have me in a Gratitude Bubble unlike any I have ever had. It is so fun to walk down the street. I can feel the love going out to everyone I pass. Frequently they smile in return or one even said, "Thanks." This is going to be a fine day.

Blessed Again and More

The Gratitude List for Today:
• Sobriety
• the Program
• Jim
• Cassidy
• Kwanzaa
• Pastors Alika and Ralph Galloway
• Larry Krause
• Steven
• Aaron
• Damien
• Timmy
• Laura and Fred White
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Duane
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• the condo
• John Boyer
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• The Volkswagen Phaeton - Christa
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Tony Maas
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Bill
• Noel
• Eric and Lucinda
• Nathan and Jessica
• Nick
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

OK, 24 hours and a lot of Higher Power and all is just fine. The income shortfall is reversed and it turns out the battery in the Main Production MacIntosh was failing which caused the monitor to blank. So I exchanged the battery and cleaned up the machine and took out the 160 Gig Drive and put in two 350 Gig drives. For less money than I feared, I have a much better system. HP did it again.

I am so blessed.

Tuesday with a challenge

More business downturn for me. This has resulted in a situation where I am really digging to cover my costs. I have had this before but I now have resources and believe things will be fine. The first of these resources is God, then the program. And the program teaches me to be Grateful.

I am grateful today for: Sobriety, HP, the program, Cassidy, Christa the Phaeton, my home, my health, english muffins, Don, Jim, Larry, Duane, Rob, Pastor Alika, the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian, my mom and dad, Bill, Noel, Eric, Lucinda, Nate, Jessica, Nick, Lydia, Minnesota, Snow, Winter, Tara, Arlene, Gerry, Tony M, Christian, Damien, Kent
• Timmy
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

I am having a wonderful time turning more and more over to God. Actually I can do very little else that I am not doing. And I have super support. God will take care of my needs.

Retirement for a day Sunday

I am grateful for: Sobriety, HP, the program, Cassidy, Christa the Phaeton, my home, my health, english muffins, Don, Jim, Larry, Duane, Rob, Pastor Alika, the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian, my mom and dad, Bill, Noel, Eric, Lucinda, Nate, Jessica, Nick, Lydia, Minnesota, Snow, Winter, Tara, Arlene, Gerry, Tony M, Christian, Damien
• Timmy
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

A couple of crazy days. Did you ever hear me blog about how naive I am? Well, just got off the phone with a man who explained that everyone else knows what has been going on with him and I was totally unaware. I have been made aware of this before. Yesterday a guy called and was really rude to me and I did not buy into his stuff and finally, in frustration, he said, "Don't you every get mad?"
As a recovering drunk, I cannot get mad. Anger is not an option. Mostly I just take a look at where the person is coming from and I understand what moved them to do whatever to me and with that understanding, I cannot be mad. The other times I truly am naive because I cannot and do not choose to believe that people would be lying to me like they do.
I do a lot of praying because I know a lot of people who are very needy. The people who are using and killing themselves I pray for particularly because that is the only thing that really works.
Yesterday I facilitated in a Presbytery Meeting of our Synod. The topic was racism and Kwanzaa trained us all to facilitate. It was held at my brother's church, First Presbyterian of Stillwater. I saw a number of folks out there that I know. It was great to be serving with Kwanzaa. That church is such a blessing in my life.
When it comes right down to it, I could not make it without my faith in God. I have been particularly rebuffed and attacked and hurt these last two days on a number of fronts. However I turn my life and will over to the care of God and he will not leave me nor forsake me. I do not understand that, however I get great solace from knowing that God is piloting this ship. Amazing things happen.
I decided to not go to Kwanzaa today because I just need to decompress. Hopefully my room mate will leave me enough space to do that. I thought he would be gone for the day since he left last night and generally is gone for quite a space of time. Unfortunately he returned about a half hour ago so I am going to just hole up in my room and let him take over the rest of the house.
I am going down to work out now.
I am so blessed.

Thursday Party Day

Steven is back from his Puerto Vallarte Vacation.

My Gratitude List:
Sobriety, HP, the program, Cassidy, Christa the Phaeton, my home, my health, english muffins, Don, Jim, Larry, Duane, Rob, Pastor Alika, the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian, my mom and dad, Bill, Noel, Eric, Lucinda, Nate, Jessica, Nick, Lydia, Minnesota, Snow, Winter, Tara, Arlene, Gerry, Tony M, Christian, Damien
• Timmy
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

Last night I was at Kwanzaa for Racism Facilitation training. We are going to facilitate on Saturday for the Presbytery at Stillwater First Presbyterian. I am blessed to be a part of Kwanzaa. I have such rich experiences and blessings from them.

Getting Ready to Workout

Tuesday morning, no clients, just a bit of work to do, prepping to speak tonight at my Tuesday 12 Step Meeting. I am going to go down and work off a few calories.

I am so blessed.
• Sobriety
• the Program
• Steven
• Aaron
• Jim
• Cassidy
• Kwanzaa
• Pastors Alika and Ralph Galloway
• Larry Krause
• Damien
• Timmy
• Laura and Fred White
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Duane
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• the condo
• John Boyer
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• The Volkswagen Phaeton - Christa
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Tony Maas
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Bill
• Noel
• Eric and Lucinda
• Nathan and Jessica
• Nick
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Joe L
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

It will be beautiful today with a start like this.

Perceptions

Well, as I live and learn. A friend has been in my observation ungrateful, sneaky, avoiding, hurtful, judgmental, and not wishing to be around me. We just had a conversation and he said almost the same things about me. This is a strange one. I don't ever remember having this happen before.

Well first, the Gratitude List:
• Sobriety
• the Program
• Jim
• Cassidy
• Kwanzaa
• Pastors Alika and Ralph Galloway
• Aaron
• Steven
• Larry Krause
• Damien
• Timmy
• Laura and Fred White
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN
• Steve H
• Duane
• Victor
• Dustin
• Ko and Lo
• Michael and Debbie
• Technology
• Ben Speiser
• Jason
• Tom Scholla
• the condo
• John Boyer
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage
• The Volkswagen Phaeton - Christa
• Brandon Randolph
• Larry Eckhart
• Bob Moore
• Margo
• Jo
• Polly
• Dennis Johnston
• the Fiddle
• Dan Chouinard
• Sima Shumilovsky
• Rob
• Tony Maas
• Eric
• Virginia
• The Meintsmas
• Bill
• Noel
• Eric and Lucinda
• Nathan and Jessica
• Nick
• Earl Lindner
• Kevin Jackson
• Christopher Raymond
• Chris J
• Gary
• Leo
• Scott
• Dick
• Hank
• Tom S
• music
• Justin
• Eric
• Clem
• Christian
• Blaine
• Sasha
• James
• Casey
• Marc J
• Tim K
• Dustin
• Geo
• Ross M
• Joseph S.
• Joseph Perry
• Christof
• Michelle
• Max
• Dontray

I am not exactly sure where to turn here.

Well I called my sponsor and he said, "Be who you are." I am not adjusting my program for him. He may be paranoid from the use he has done. Give him some space but don't alter who you are because he is being accusatory and somewhat rejecting. I am going to try and do some things with him, just hanging out, and continue to invite him to do things. I feel a lot better after talking it over with my sponsor.