Bill Wilson got to a point where he needed to clarify his boundaries and I am at that point this year. "Highly satisfactory to live one's life for others, it cannot be anything but disastrous to live one's life for others as those others think it should be lived." Recent dry benders and spiritual shakes have happened when I thought I should just accede to the wishes of others and put my own desires and wants and needs to the side. This is NOT following the spirit and is in fact a self serving dangerous road to self destruction and phony martyrdom. With a serious look at the counsel of my spiritual sources and wisdom people around me, they have said for years I should take more care of myself. Now I am behaving in the light of their wisdom. It is better for me to ignore the middle of the night phone calls when I am tired, perhaps even turn off the ringer, than to answer every call every time.
I can use the rest and relaxation to be a better man when I am out on the battlefield. Last night I did go to the GLBT in Recovery Skate at the Mall of America Field, I did put on the rollerblades and tried it for about 200 feet. I did what I said I would. But then I took them off and watched other more athletic folks totally enjoy skating. Better to watch and be on the sidelines than to hurt myself trying to keep up with the pack of folks 20 to 40 years younger. Coming back home I went right to bed rather than stay up for the slumber party Aaron staged with his friends.
Now is is a beautiful New Years Day morning and all the others are asleep and I have prayed, read my reading for the day and can now journal. God IS in charge.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New Years Gratitude
Sobriety - A gift only HP can give when I let him
HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now, today is a miracle.
the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing, very spiritual on an increasing basis these days.
Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
the beautiful North Shore of Lake Superior
my health - excellent
travel is great, particularly in the Phaeton.
Aaron - super roommate and great support
Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny. Really a gift in my life.
Chris M. - my sponsor and a real inspiring guy.
Victor - he cares and that is wonderful. He is also a great cook.
Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man. I would love to have him as my son.
Mark Johnson - superman
Andrew Groos - intellectual, thoughtful, provacative
Jakub - an awesome man
Steve K - Brother in work and mission and focus
Ross U - what can I say, beautiful, inside and out. Growing and loving
Ronnie B - friend, and a kickass woman, I pray for her health.
Josef O - fascinating man
Mikey - gifted and insightful, and sometimes a little Puck.
Ronnie T - an awesome man and a gift to know
Joel L - exciting to watch the struggle begin
Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
Jim - my best friend and a real rock
Larry - a good guy and Jim's significant other and fun and funny.
Duane - a superb man and a wonderful friend. An Iphone addict too!
Beryl Wells - my favorite insane artist and phenomenal woman of the world
Virginia Howard - One awesome woman
Harry Waters - Fantastic Director and Drama Coach on the M4D Project
Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard, in my prayers.
Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
Bobby M - gentle, caring, sweet man
Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
Pastor Ralph - a great teacher
the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
my mom and dad - gone but here
Anise Flesh - super woman and grand teacher
Aunt Florence - my trooper friend
Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
Noel - my sister in law who understands
Eric - my eldest Nephew, back here from the east coast.
Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
Evie - Eric and Lucinda's newest little daughter
Astrid - Nate and Jessica's Daughter
Minnesota - I love this state
Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
Christian - Brilliant, good man
Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts, so glad he is doing well
Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough, prayin for him, I respect him greatly
Ronnie T - smart, funny, a leader
Patrick O - gifted artist and a real loving man
The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage and StevenBe - creative and challenging
Brandon Randolph - stunning man, my own secret hero
Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
Bob Moore - gifted artist
Margo - sweet friend
Jo - very intelligent and very caring
Polly - awesome woman
Bill - the Judge with the mostest
Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
the Fiddle - my drug of choice
Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
Eric - great 12 Step man
The Meintsmas - committed and loving
Earl Lindner - rock of a man
Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
Chris J - good program man
Leo - deepening in faith and practice
Hank - my first sponsor who is gone now but still lives in my head.
Scott - my second gay sponsor, now also gone but in my thoughts
Tsiana, an astounding heart and great source of happiness
music - heals me and excites me
Justin - friend and busy guy
Eric - friend
Clem - friend
Christian - friend
Sasha - friend
James - friend
Casey - friend
Marc J - friend
Tim K - friend
Dustin - friend
Joe L - friend
Ross M - friend
Joseph S. - friend
Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
Christof - friend
Max - friend
Dontray - friend
Tyler - friend
Zach - friend
Rory - friend
David and Ricky Peterson - the awesome folks of Jessica
Millie - a most awesome person, energized.
There are many others, but this is a great start on the persons, situations and things I am grateful to God for in my life.
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