The Deeper Tenth Step

My Gratitude List for Today:
• Sobriety - A gift only HP can give

• HP - My HP does Miracles in the here and now
• the program - my daily reprieve and NOT my own doing
• Christa the Phaeton - my motorized office and companion and definitely me
• my home - beautiful, peaceful, stately, quiet.
• my health - excellent
• Don - a quiet powerful man and a good friend, and really really funny
• Zach - challenges me and supports me.
• Jim - my best friend and a real rock
• Larry - a good guy
• Duane - a wonderful man and a wonderful friend

• Dewey Lysen - fantastic on the keyboard
• Steven - good friend and nuttier than a fruitcake. I am not sure how he makes it but he does.
• Rob - the man who completed Duane's life
• Victor - he cares and that is wonderful
• Dustin - powerful, insightful, insane thinker, and a thoughtful man
• Pastor Alika - who breaks open the word like no one else and keeps me working on the connection with Jesus.
• the folks at Kwanzaa Presbyterian - my family with prayers and support
• my mom and dad - gone but here
• Bill - my wonderful brother who goes way beyond in support and care
• Noel - my sister in law who understands
• Eric - my eldest Nephew who is moving his family back here from the east coast.
• Lucinda - the wonderful wife of my Nephew Eric
• Nate - the funny and fun second Nephew
• Jessica - Nate's wonderful wife and a grand woman
• Nick - The Youngest Nephew and a brilliant musician
• Lydia - Eric and Lucinda's little daughter
• Minnesota - I love this state
• Tara - A great member of Kwanzaa and a super prayer
• Arlene - A wonderful woman of Kwanzaa
• Gerry - Super woman and a woman of God from Kwanzaa
• Tony M - he understands and cares and really is way beyond me in many ways
• Christian - Brilliant, good man
• Damien - Superb actor and a good man and extremely psychic, a lot of blessing in a man.
• Kent - Excellent Musician and slowly learning.
• Cassidy - a totally wonderful man, he has been given many gifts, with HP he will make it.
• Timmy - Talented and gifted man, sometimes love is tough
• The Lattin Family, and all the 14 children, owners of Wit's End County Store and Bakery, Beaver Bay, MN - demonstrating the Kingdom to the world
• Steve H - big heart and a big man of sobriety
• Lois Koyama - a woman of God
• Michael and Debbie - Loving the world with Music
• Technology - Makes a lot of things happen as a tool
• Ben Speiser - Super, sweet and very intelligent
• Jason - brilliant and devoted lover of Ben
• Tom Scholla - been with me for a long time
• The Gang of Knitters around the Yarn Garage - creative and challenging
• Brandon Randolph - stunning man
• Larry Eckhart - funny fun and devoted man
• Bob Moore - gifted artist
• Margo - sweet friend
• Jo - very intelligent and very caring
• Polly - awesome woman
• Dennis Johnston - gifted therapist
• the Fiddle - my drug of choice
• Dan Chouinard - fantastic man of music
• Sima Shumilovsky - sweet old world musician
• Eric - great 12 Step man
• Virginia - very good friend
• The Meintsmas - committed and loving
• Earl Lindner - rock of a man
• Kevin Jackson - gifted with music
• Christopher Raymond - A Mac Genius
• Chris J - good program man
• Leo - my leader and my conscience
• Hank - my first sponsor
• Scott - my second gay sponsor
• Tom S - long time friend and my plumber and the Scholla Racing guy
• music - heals me and excites me
• Justin - friend and busy guy
• Eric - friend
• Clem - friend
• Christian - friend
• Blaine - friend
• Sasha - friend
• James - friend
• Casey - friend
• Marc J - friend
• Tim K - friend
• Dustin - friend
• Geo - friend
• Joe L - friend
• Ross M - friend
• Joseph S. - friend
• Mario - gifted, loving, caring man
• Joseph Perry - friend and my TM teacher
• Christof - friend
• Michelle - friend
• Max - friend
• Dontray - friend
• Tyler - friend

I am getting more and more involved in the mounting of a "One Man Show" on Crystal Meth based upon Poe Ballentine's Essay, "Methamphetamine for Dummies".  I have a great actor I think will be performing it, I have involved a super director/producer, I have a super college drama professor who also directs and adapts for the stage, I am talking with a good community theater for the possibile mounting of the workshop, I have a fall sobriety conference interested in a presentation of the piece.  Everything is falling into place with the precision only available via the intervention of HP in the process.  The recent event where I had trouble turning things over, has conditioned me to really let this go.  I am loving it.

I have some questions about a good man in the program who, I am concerned, is slowing making his way back to using again.  When I get those concerns I know they are generally about myself.  I will figure this one out and report back when I find what my inventory is all about here.  Right now I am in the dark.  

I have been overjoyed to find a couple of younger program members who have really connected with Higher Power via Zen.  They are so different because they DO take personal responsibility for themselves and don't get whiney and dramatic when faced with reversals.  Currently a few of my program friends and sponsees have elected to go back out and use and the consequences of their use is showing up in more damage and devastation in their lives.  The contrast between the centered guys and the slippers is astounding.  It is a joy to be around the centered men and very hard to be around the slipping ones. 

Today is a relaxed day and I am going to use it to work on my own 10th Step and to hear God's calling for me today and do it.  I am so blessed.